Looking back, wondering whether the friendships ended naturally — or if you were just too afraid to fight for them.
We sit in that questioning — If we were enough
Or if we could have said something to make them stay. People say,
“We grew apart” or “They have changed,”
as if growth is gentle.
Most friendships don’t end with yelling. But the simple realization that you are no longer the first person they tell things to, pretending that it never bothered you much.
Conversations that were filled with unfiltered laughter.
Tears.
Jokes.
You don’t leave because something bad happened. Sometimes you leave because nothing happened at all.
No betrayal.
Jealousy.
Fights.
Manipulation.
Just a long, polite distance
that seemed easier to address, silent words.
Texts that stayed as drafts, thinking it would be “too much.”
As if it doesn’t stretch.
Ache.
Or slowly eat at you.
No fights, just secrets between the two of you, only you knew.
Messages that you can’t seem to delete.
You stare and re-read the past, reliving the realism that grew bland.
Invisible.
You knew it was real.
From memories of corny made-up dances, stupid jokes, or being “THAT” duo.
People say, “Friends come and go.”
But they fail to mention how hard it really is.
They don’t mention those lonely nights, when unprocessed emotions slowly cave in.
Waves of blurred colors that seep through your pillows.
Wishing you could talk and run to them as you used to when times were exciting or hard.
It’s a part of you that’s lost, rewired, and doesn’t feel the same with somebody else.
Something you can’t see, but you can feel it.
“Family is blood,” but how do you explain a sisterly or brotherly love from somebody who isn’t?
The invisible cracking that shattered within your heart. It carried so much love for somebody who still appears on your social media, reachable,
but not recognizable.
That harmless scar runs deep in your soul, so deep that you feel it.
Friendships are never easy. It gets hard and stressful.
Friendships aren’t just about how much you can love somebody or who you experience it with, but how far you go, even to unimaginable fights, hurtful actions, or reckless decisions you both make.
It’s the times you truly stayed, even when everybody left.
Sometimes you wish those good friends stayed a bit longer, but those friends allowed lessons to be learned.
Those friendships you can’t truly get back can leave you emotionally scarred, but acknowledging the grief, expressing your feelings, and seeking help could mentally support you to overcome a long-term wound.
I wrote this because…
Experiences sometimes happen for a reason; many of us know how silence can make us anxious or exhausted. But I believe we don’t have to feel alone, or if it’s our fault, because in those quiet moments, there is also an opportunity to understand ourselves better, to heal, and to reach out—even when it feels hard. Sometimes the spaces between words teach us more than the words themselves, reminding us that connection, forgiveness, and growth are always possible, both with others and within ourselves.
What did you learn when your friendship drifted or what can you take from it, good or bad? How come?
Julio De La Cruz: “I had a crew back in middle school, but as years went by, we grew apart because addiction had consumed some of them. —usually marijuana, intercourse, and alcohol. I don’t condone any addiction, so I distance myself. I learned that no matter how “good” or “bad” you are as a person, if a bad influence controls you, it’ll be hard to change.”
Christian Tejeda: “I had a friend I would talk to daily, and who relied on me emotionally and mentally. I reshaped myself, my daily routine, plans, and who I connected with- but I learned that some friendships can take away certain aspects of you for a period of time.”
Khristofer Peters: “In my opinion, it was hard for me to keep connections with those I don’t see often, but remembering somebody who doesn’t exist in my life anymore, I forget about them.”
How are you doing after the obstacle? Was it hard to get over?
De La Cruz: “People believe it took a toll on me, but it didn’t because I made my decision not to hang out with unnecessary influences. I want to focus on myself and what will set me up in my life.”
Tejeda: “In the beginning, it sucked because we were close, but it allowed me to realize that you should never dedicate yourself to a singular thing, always try to do what you’re passionate about.”
Peters: “I’ve been great, I’ve been living life to the fullest with old and new friends.”
If you had to describe your guy’s relationship, how would you have described it? What makes it special to you?
De La Cruz: “I would describe my relationship as complicated in the beginning, but it got better for an extended period of time, but it slowly started to die out. I wish I could’ve guided them into a different direction. It was special to me because we experienced a lot together, but at the end of the day, I don’t miss the friendship.”
Tejeda: “We were friends for 3 years, but overall I would describe the relationship as really good friends. I appreciated that connection because she was one of many with whom I could be vulnerable around besides family.”
Peters: “I hardly knew this person, but during kindergarten, I hung out with him often. Something special that I can remember is the imaginative game Resident Evil, because he was obsessed with the game, but we played as if we were actually in it.”
Do you still think about them when a similar feeling arises?
De La Cruz: “I don’t. I believe that people can’t replace those they knew. Letting go is what life is; you get new experiences, and you just keep moving forward.”
Tejeda: “Instead of thinking about her, I think about being in the moment with those I’m with today.”
Peters: “Sometimes when I’m playing video games or thinking, I think about how fun it used to be as a kid.”
